Things could’ve been better

For the both of us.

We could’ve been with the one who

Makes us happy;

Respectively.

Spend a little time with the one who

Makes us smile.

Build stronger bonds with the person

We want.

Find the right moment to go for

The kiss,

And, maybe,

Land it for the very first time;

But we didn’t.

We spent time with each other

And it made us happy.

We had a few conversations

That made us smile.

We built a stronger bond

And it was something that we wanted.

And it came to a point when

I wanted to go for the kiss,

And, maybe,

Land it for the very first time.

But I didn’t

Because I know that you have

Another special person.

I just can’t help but feel

That things could have been better

For the both of us

If we tried.

Photo by: DeviantNep

I walked a winding path alone.

It twisted and turned;

Had red pines and blue stones.

Birds would croak and toads would chirp.

Turtles perched on trees,

While miniscule elephants heartily burped.

I found the whole scene amusing

Until the moon went down.

The sun’s darkness blinded me from seeing.

Then I saw a sign not too far away.

It glowed radiantly,

And asked me to choose, “White or Gray?”

Suddenly, two paths appeared in front.

The left was called Pale,

While the other was called Froth.

Pale was immensely bright, had snow for miles,

was cold and barren.

But I could sense that staying here would make me smile.

Froth had a cemented road that was double the former.

No trees. No Water.

But animals thrived and people gathered.

I couldn’t choose between the left or right.

It confused me, so

I laid down at the crossroads; calling it a night.

When I woke up the birds chirped, the sun had stayed and

Only one path was left.

I don’t know what it’s called, but it had no end.

So I walked the solitary road alone.

It didn’t twist and turn;

Had green pines and gray stones.

INTRO: Here’s a new one I wrote in my phone’s Notepad. Trying out a different style of writing. Hope you all like it! :)

——————————————————————————————

I plunged into the chaotic grocery store sale with little care towards anything. I didn’t really want to be here. I was hungry. The crowd was so huge that five steps forward took awhile to achieve; this made me sickeningly impatient. I hated it. Nevertheless, I pushed on.

Slowly creeping toward the first shelf, I ached to get my hands on a bag of Cheetos; Jalapeño flavored, of course. Damn did I want a bag. I wanted to taste the simple pleasure of Cheetos once again. That cheesy crunchy twig of pure cheetah-endorsed happiness: delicious. Then, I saw her.

She wasn’t the kind of girl that would grab everyone’s attention. More like the shy girl in a chick flick with which the high school heartthrob would fall head over heels for, only this girl knew how to dress. She stood around 5’5”, was fair-skinned, probably of Chinese lineage, and had long dark hair. She was looking at the top shelf, then the bottom; probably looking for something to place in her cart. Snacks, maybe?

She saw me looking at her and we shared a stare for about five seconds, then, she suddenly looked away. She looked away from me. Can you believe it? Me: the hottest boy in this region, the eye-candy of every girl within a one-kilometer radius, the embodiment of Adonis in the Twentieth Century! The nerve of this girl! I was offended, but I couldn’t get mad. This girl got me hooked. She got me hooked real good.

A sweet aroma diffused into my nose as she walked by passed me, deliberately ignoring my presence. She grabbed a box of Pop Tarts, a bag of Kisses, and a little piece of my heart for every other item that she took from the shelves. I walked toward her direction to see what else she would get; probably letting her take my heart completely in the process. She cradled a bag of Lays, and slowly crept up to the Cheetos corner.

She dropped everything into her shopping cart, looked up and saw me. She looked at me quizzically, then her eyes transitioned to view the Cheetos shelf—so did mine.

Time stopped.

There it was, the last bag of Cheetos Jalapeño sitting on a shelf across the girl that I’ve strangely fallen for. Her arms inched forward, her hands opening to grab the bag. She had a lustful smile on her face, as if to say, “My precious.” Gollum-style. My senses started tingling. This girl was about to take my bag of Cheetos!

With a sudden protective instinct, I pounced at her. She dropped the bag and screamed, “Ahh! Don’t hurt me!” and at that point, our eyes met, again. Her beautiful brown eyes were tearing up, almost pleadingly, and I felt sorry. I didn’t understand why, but we had an understanding after that. This bag of Cheetos was a wall—the wall that separated the two of us.

I straightened myself and picked up the bag of Cheetos Jalapeño and held it right in between her and I: a peace offering. She grinned, looked in her bag and pulled out a piece of paper and pen. She scribbled something on the piece of paper and traded it for the bag of Cheetos. I looked at it as she smiled. I smiled back. Then, she happily walked away toward the counter to purchase her snacks.

That night, I typed the number into my phone. Ring ring. No one picked up.

-

I jumped

From the top of a hill

And for a moment I felt light.

I felt calm and I felt still.

For an instant, I felt alive.

-

And I kept on falling;

Falling ever so fast.

It was the best feeling,

But even that didn’t last.

-

It seemed like an hour,

What, in reality, was quick.

True enough, I landed hard;

In an instant, felt sick.

-

I jumped from a hill

‘Cause I thought it was right,

But the impact did kill

My former love for the flight.

-

Photo by: zalas

There was a storm that night she cried. She needed time for herself so she walked down the steps of her staircase and strutted towards the door with the full knowledge of the weather. She didn’t care about getting wet or sick, she just wanted to let go of her emotions under the rain.

While taking steps to the garden, she took time to look up at the gloomy sky and droplets kissed her face. They were cold and made her shiver; she liked that. Her arms spread wide open like she was crucified, her clothes were soaked and her feet were dirty from the mud. She twirled around wearing her lovely smile—a mask. But she knew happiness was short-lived, and that her ecstasy would leave as quickly as her heartbeat. That’s when her happiness fleeted.

She looked down and knelt on the ground as she relaxed her arms. Tears flowed from her eyes and she cried for an hour. That’s when he came.

A hand touched her shoulder and she looked up at a familiar face. He smiled at her and she smiled back. He couldn’t understand the look on her face. A second ago, she was crying, but, now, she was happy—really happy. She didn’t even look like she cried; the rain hid that much. But, nonetheless, he didn’t believe her. She was an actress, he knew that much.

However, despite knowing that, he sat down and entertained her false happiness. They talked about getting soaked by the rain and enjoyed their muddy feet. They laughed and seemed happy.

Then the boy looked into the girl’s eyes and, slowly, kissed her. From then the rain stopped, and they were both genuinely happy.

“A boy loved a girl so much so that he proposed to her, but she declined. Even so, the boy remained happy and content with his life. A friend asked him why he was still happy and the boy simply answered,”I`m happy because I lost someone who doesn’t love me, but she lost someone who loved her.”” - C.F.

That anecdote made me think about relationships; and though I have no girlfriend, it made me see things, such as courtship, in a different light.

A boy takes the risk to confess his feelings to a girl so that he could find out if she feels the same. Key word: risk. Guys don’t like that. We want things to be safe, consistent and sure. That’s the way our brain works- we’re business minded. We don’t want things to be uncertain. It’s always better for us to know what the outcome of our actions will be. This is why almost every guy tends to keep his feelings to himself until he knows if the girl likes him back. So when a guy confesses and she doesn’t like him back, it hurts. Trust me, I’ve been there.

It doesn’t just end in getting hurt. There’s always that loss of confidence and motivation, as well as the possibility of losing the girl as a friend. Guys don’t like that, and neither would girls if they were in our shoes. I mean, seriously, would you want to wake up everyday thinking that the person you’ve had feelings for for the longest time doesn’t feel the same way? It sucks, right? But this anecdote says that we shouldn’t feel that way, which is what intrigued me.

It implies that this not-getting-liked-back thing isn’t all that bad, and points out that the person who isn’t liked back isn’t the one on the losing end; maybe it’s even for the better. Kung hindi ka naman gusto, ba’t mo pa ipipilit? 

I guess all I’m trying to say in this blog is that there’s always a brighter side to things. So don’t try to dwell too much on the negative things, and as cliché as this sounds, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Photo by: Khomenko

**Anecdote from my friend, although it isn’t originally his.

    I can’t believe I thought that I was important in your life when I’m not. I know it was wrong for me to do so, but I just couldn’t help it. I can’t make myself believe that I don’t mean anything to you; but obviously, through the way you’re acting and seeing how you act towards others, I’m learning to face the truth: I’m not significant in your life.

What can I say? I’m a good observer. I see the way you treat others. After all, we are connected. I have an idea of what’s happening in your life.

    Let’s start with Spring. Oh you just love Spring, don’t you? When he’s the one who compliments you, you blush; flushing your leaves with lovely apples. You giggle at his simplest jokes and you like the way he tickles your leaves. When he’s not noticing you, you make a habit of trying to catch his attention to start a conversation. When he goes away, you’d anxiously wait for his return. You’d endure the rest of the year just because you want to see him again. You believe that you can’t live without him; what a lucky guy. 

Just when I think you’d get over him, Summer comes. Not that you love the heat, but you do love the way people adore you. They come to you for shade, and praise you for being the perfect place to have a picnic under. You crave for the attention they give you. You always want to be noticed by others through how beautiful you are, or how useful you can be. All through this weather, I’m the one who’s there trying my best to keep you hydrated; but even so, you don’t notice me. I’m not acknowledged. 

 Then Autumn comes, and you’re just depressed. Your leaves, once beautiful, fall every time you cry, and here’s the reason: the only person with you, now, is me. I don’t get it, really. We used to be happy together. I took care of you and you took care of me. You used to smile a lot, and that always made my day. We used to have the best conversations, though shallow, but we didn’t mind. You used to be sweet and thoughtful, but now, you treat me as if we never had a history. I’m trying my best, but you don’t notice anymore because you’re preoccupied with wanting other people’s attention. I just don’t know what happened.

When Winter comes and you’ve lost all your happiness, you become so cold; as cold as the weather. I’m wearing my brain out to find out what I did to make you act like this to me. I’m really confused. We barely talk now, even when I try to start a conversation. I thought we’d be happy together; I guess I just assumed. In the white, barren environment, we act as if we’re strangers. It’s so awkward to speak to you now. This sucks.

Oh how I wish that you would read this and finally know how I feel; but then again, how could you? I’m just the root underground that you would never bother to love. I’m that insignificant to you.

*This is fictional*

I wrote this on the third of July (07-03-12), hence the title.

Just felt really compelled to write during that rainy Tuesday evening. It is, by far, the longest one I’ve written. Please do read, like and reblog! Enjoy! :)

Third of July

The rain falls hard

crashing overhead.

Hear drizzling sounds;

lying on my bed.

A phone lights up.

From eyes, water bled.

Thinking of you

and what you just said

Third of July,

almost the next day.

Up and kicking.

So needless to say,

wide, I’m awake;

thoughts fading away.

Transitioning

to those yesterday.

You, this is for,

and you know it too.

Things left unsaid,

but feelings so true.

Heart turning red

from when it was blue.

In this cold, fire

is burning for you.

I want to speak

the words to your ear

inside a place

where only you hear.

Can’t find the strength

because of my fear.

I cannot speak.

Can’t even go near.

That’s why I write.

I write ‘til I bleed.

Pen and paper

is all that I need

to make you see

words mouthed in my deed,

and make you feel

my soul as you read.

In this game, love,

I am not so keen,

but I do say

the words that I mean.

I won’t hold back.

To God I will lean

for the guidance

to make you my queen.